Chance or Choice: Two ways to live

Every day, from the moment we rise to the moment we rest, we are faced with decisions. The choice to act or remain still, is in itself, a decision. But how often do we pause to ask ourselves: Are we actively making choices or letting life’s circumstances dictate our path? Are we living by choice, or are we drifting by chance? To be honest, I believe that, for many of us, it’s often the latter.

What Does It Mean to Live by Choice vs. By Chance?

Living by choice means:

• Living Intentionally – Making decisions that align with who you are and what you want.

• Setting Clear Goals with an Actionable Plan – Understanding where you want to go and how to get there.

• Owning Your Decisions – Taking full responsibility for the paths you choose.

On the other hand, living by chance means:

• Living Passively – Allowing life to happen to you instead of engaging with it.

• Reacting to Life’s Curveballs – Letting external forces shape your journey.

• Being Directionless – Drifting without a clear sense of purpose or intention.

The Quiet Pull of Living by Chance

All our life, we’re subtly conditioned to live by chance. It’s not an overt pressure but a series of quiet influences—society’s expectations, the educational system, workplace culture—that nudge us into a passive existence. Over time, we start to feel unfulfilled, maybe even numb, as we fall into the rhythms that society has set for us. This passive way of living might feel comfortable at first, but it often leads to a lack of meaning and joy in life.

Let’s look at a few ways we might unintentionally be living by chance instead of by choice:

The Education System and Career Path

From a young age, the education system conditions us to conform. We’re graded according to external standards. We’re conditioned to seek approval and direction from others, choosing courses or career paths based on what’s popular or “safe.” Before we know it, our individuality starts to fade, and we’re stuck in a job that looks good on paper but leaves us uninspired and disconnected from what truly matters. We’re taught that constant busyness equals success, and we sacrifice health, wellness, relationships, and personal fulfillment for the sake of a paycheck.

Life Phases and Milestones

Society has created a roadmap for us. Finish school by your early twenties, get a job, buy a house, start a family, then send your kids off to college, retire. It’s a cycle that’s expected, not questioned. But who asks if you’re ready for these commitments? Who checks if this traditional path truly aligns with your dreams and values? We’re told that everyone else has done it this way, so we should, too. It’s all laid out for you.

Social Media

Social media is perhaps the most insidious force shaping our lives. Every day, we scroll through content that subtly changes our values, our sense of success, and even our self-worth. The highlight reels of influencers push unrealistic standards of beauty, wealth, relationships, and lifestyles, making us feel like we’re falling short. The constant stream of comparison can make us question our place in the world.

There are many more such influences where choices are already made for us. Don’t question, just follow. We are told.

Choosing to Live by Choice

Now, imagine a world where we are encouraged to question. Let’s look at how life could change if we actively chose to live by our own decisions:

The Education System and Career Path

Instead of following the herd, approach education with curiosity. Ask questions. Seek out knowledge that excites you and look for ways to apply it practically. There are so many educational opportunities outside of school that can be explored on topics that pique your interest. Online courses, workshops, and self-directed learning are powerful tools in today’s world. It is likely that you will pivot, and that’s okay; your journey is not linear. Align your career with your core values and passions. You don’t have to follow a predefined path. You of course need to balance your purpose with practicality.

Life Phases and Milestones

I recognize that these phases and milestones are deeply embedded in our culture. Acknowledge these milestones but make decisions on your own – your core values will guide you here. If you want to focus on personal growth or career development before jumping into a relationship or buying a home, that’s okay. If you feel like your mental health or well-being needs to come before climbing the corporate ladder, honor that. Your timeline doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Make it your own.

Using Social Media with Intent

Social media can be a tool for connection and learning if used intentionally. Set boundaries and recognize that what you see online is only a fraction of someone’s life. By focusing on what really matters to you—whether it’s family, passions, or personal growth—you can use these platforms to support your goals instead of letting them define your worth.

How to Begin Living by Choice

Living intentionally takes effort, but it’s worth it. Here are some recommendations start living by choice:

Self-reflect often and cultivate Curiosity

Living by choice requires self-awareness and courage. It means asking questions, being open to new ideas, and not being afraid to break away from the norm. Curiosity keeps you engaged and deepens your understanding of the world, helping you find your own path rather than following the crowd.

Seek Mentorship

Look for people who’ve walked the path you want to follow. There are countless mentors out there, many willing to share their wisdom. One book that deeply resonated with me is Principles by Ray Dalio, where he explores the idea of patterns repeating throughout history and how to learn from others’ successes and mistakes. Find mentors who inspire you and who are willing to guide you.

Make Reading a Habit

Reading has been a game-changer for me. Whether it’s about mindset, habits, or the mind itself, books can help reshape your thinking. I highly recommend:

• Mindset by Carol Dweck, which teaches the importance of growth and grit.

• The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, to understand how habits shape our lives and how we can change them.

• The Undoing Project by Michael Lewis, a fascinating dive into how our minds work.

Conclusion: The Power of Choice

Choosing to live by choice brings greater fulfillment, deeper self-discovery, a sense of purpose, and stronger connections. It allows you to step out of the cycle of regret and live a life true to your values. The decision is yours. Will you let life happen to you, or will you take the reins and live by choice? The answer is within you, and today is the perfect day to start.